Category: Writers Block
a beautiful voice
borne on the trickle of raindrops
undulating like waves through water
unsubstantial as the ethers
lovely laughter
lilting, melting, swelling,
as cheerful and sad as the trickle of water
from a child's snow angel
memories of angels
lovely as those of snow
spreading wings of frozen chrystal
diving weightless
to perish in lakes of spring
do the storms of spring return
those angels to the ground
where they may fly again
on gossimer wings
borne through raindrops
to perish once more in summers heat
and do those angels
kissing flowers to make them bloom
return to tend them in automns breezes
bringing life where none once dwelled
do our voices
our angels
our memories of angels
do they stay to protect us
do they guide us through the next three seasons
after the snowflakes have gone
and the angels are no more
or must we wait for winters breath
to lay snowflakes on the ground
for those angels return
must we be those snowflakes
laid prostrate on the ground
to witness the return of our angels
to see them soar on wings of golden light
and to soar with them once more
in endless winters delight
Awww, pretty. I like.
This poem makes me feel very peaceful. I loooooove the aliteration and assonance in this piece. I also enjoyed the description of how the angels play a role in each season. This piece really makes me think of Christmas because it tells how the angels are only around during the winter. Good work!
hmmm, christmas, perhaps.
This is a poem with good alliteration and pictures. It makes one think of the snow angels that then become the rain to nerish the flowers in the spring and summer and then return once again to cover all in white and peace. The feel of the poem is slightly sad with peaceful overtones and nearing the end you get a sense of loss and longing.
One suggestion I would make is to watch the repetition with water and rain, especially in the first two verses. Also the word "angel" is used a lot and we know the poem is about that.
Don't take anything the wrong way here. I was a manager of a writing group and did a lot of cratiquing for grammar, spelling, sentence structure and all that kind of thing. I never did much with the poems because there are so many different styles.
I'll watch for another one.
Chastity
I thaught that too, about the repetition of the word angel and variations of it. Only problem was, I couldn't think of a word to replace it. I couldn't think of any synonyms for the word angels. Any suggestions?
I expect to see this piece written on glossy pages with very graphic and eye-gripping illustrations. very well written. As for other words for Angel, what about spirits? charubs/ Beings? vissions? phantoms? Good luck with revission, not that I think you need it.
Well, one reason I used angel so often, was that I wasn't really in reference to angels like the pretty winged creatures from heaven. Look at the beginning of the poem, they're snow angels. snow cherubim wouldn't have sounded as good. at least I don't think so.
Cody, once again a very well written piece.